• Rani Tria Anggiani

The Other Side of Confusion

Life has stages, life is a giant textbook of what to do and what not to do, like playing a game on your Xbox, life has a level that you need to go through to unlock the new level. You were born, go to school, go to fancy, college got into the job that you always wanted, have a family, die in peace. We all have to agree that the most vulnerable times to decide what you like and leave what makes you feel unhappy is in the early and mid-twenties of your time.

Because we don't even know if it's our passion or just a hobby? is it make us unhappy or that we are too demanding? is that person or that job is really the place we truly belong or just comfort zone?. We are too afraid that we make a wrong decision that makes us sad, we just can't afford to be sad, alone, or be in a place that with a bunch of people that we feel we don't fit in. We are afraid of unfamiliarity.

People who got strategies from the beginning of their time are most likely to succeed because they follow the textbook and stick with the protocols to achieve what they want. While the other, figure out something along the way. While I, I'm somewhere between the textbook and the-just-realize-my-passion-along-the-way. Back then, I always follow rules that I build in my own head, how I will educate myself, what major will I take, what sort of career that I will build, at what age I will be married, what type of person that will be my spouse etc. I'm a plan person, I love making plans. And when the plan didn't work, I will go crazy and blame myself for not being discipline. But as the time goes, many of opportunities that came to me were not included in my textbook of life.

In this time being, almost all the events that contribute to both my mental and career development comes from something that I never imagine I will put in my text book. In result, I have to adapt very quickly to these opportunities that I ended up... confused. But as I experience continuos confusion, I realize that I in fact.. need these confusions. Sometimes we're forget that because of confusion, we tend to think harder, got more curious about our surroundings, We seeks answers, meet bunch of people who can overcome our worries, meet another bunch of people who might be the solution, read more, look up more to the information needed, and without we even realise, confusion led us towards becoming .. more human and less robot.

Being confused means that you have choices and options that you are not stuck to one thing for the rest of your life, being confused means you had experience in taking path that is unimaginable for you, being confused means you're fully aware of your surroundings that you are often questioning what happened with society around you. Being confused forces you to seek answers that resulted in you being more curious and well .. more critical. And I personally think that confusion is one way to gain our emotional intelligence when it comes to dealing with another human being.

So it is your decision to take your confusion as an excuse to quit and not continuing whatever that make you stuck, or you gonna take it as a way to get answers that eventually lead you to a new level of exposure. Enjoy your confusion, get confused as many as you can, that means you stood up for something, you challenge yourself to take calculated risks and sometimes makes you feel excited about what will happen next. I'm not saying that you should be confused forever and idle about it, confusion is good as long as you solve your confusion one by one. We can always have a stable life later in the future. But in the meantime, enjoy all of these, find the partner that can take your confusion as something they find it interesting in you and likewise. Find a partner that both can guide you throughout your confusion and support you at the same time.

The rest, let the invisible hand do the magic stuff and open doors of opportunity for you. Stop worrying, start living.

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