We gain what we lost
Most of the time in life, we recognize what we gain more than what we lost. But yet, the moment where we're losing something is the most memorable part of our life that somehow we remember it more than our achievements. We can achieve so many things in life without we're realizing it, but yet the moment we lose something small but valuable, all of those achievements seemed doesn't matter anymore. Is our brain designed that way? To grief more than to celebrate? To take the blame more than to take credit?
I guess not many people realize that the moment they make another milestone in life, they don't bother to look back and to remember every baby steps they make to achieve success. But on the other hand, the moment they took a failure, suddenly we as humans switch our brain to trying to remember which part did we do wrong? Which people did us wrong? What happened along the way? why am I a failure, etc. What I do realize, is, sometimes a failure is just a failure that no matter how hard we try, we just haven't got to that part of life yet. Maybe in high school, we are not the brightest student because we haven't got the exposure to the right knowledge yet, maybe we didn't succeed in our first job because it wasn't our passion, and we failed in some relationships because we haven't met the right person yet. My religion which is Muslim (proudly to say) taught us the concept of Qada and Qadar, that there are two ways our life is written, one is written way before we are born and will always remain that way, and one is the free-will which explains that we as a human can navigate our life, make decisions (both good and bad). For example, every time you did a good job and you did the best that you can do and it still doesn't work out, just remember there is some part of your journey that is already written for you way before you were born. All we have to do is to use our free will as wise and as smart as possible and let god do the rest let your destiny takes you to a more beautiful destination.
Also, one thing that people rarely realize, that every time we are losing something, we gain more of what we lose. Every time we lose confidence, we got more confidence because we know how to overcome it. Every time our project is failing or our company is out of business, we gain more knowledge, wisdom, and grit. Every time we lost people, we gain more compassion and empathy, and so on.
So what I'm trying to say is, I want you to focus on what you gain every time you experience failure, loss, or heartbreak, try to write it down, the things that you lost, and the things that you gain. You will be amazed at how many things you gain that will be outnumbered what you're actually lost. And that's how you take learning and grow in life. Hope this writing helps whoever reads this :), as some people said my writings are both chaotic and calming.